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AUG 10, 2008 to FEB 10, 2008. MAKES 6 MONTHS

six months since I seen him, heard from him, since we officially broke up & i told him i was done w/ him for good. I miss him. we had our arguments. he cheated on me, got another grl pregnant, hit me, you name it he did it. & til this day I can say I miss him. I use to go back to him after every fight. I was the peacemaker. all I wanted was for us to be happy & to one day build a fam & a life together. he promised me this. I was naive I know but, eventually I woke up & smelled the roses. the day he slapped me was a wake up call "britt you gotta leave him alone FOR GOOD. you don't deserve to be mistreated." I had told myself this before but I didn't go through w/ it. I just was in love with HIM bc he was my first TRUE LOVE. I did everything for him just to make HIM happy. he was hungry? I fed him. he needed gas money? I lended it to him. his car was in the shop? I helped him get it out. he was in jail? along w/ his friends I put money up for his bail. & when we couldn't bail him out? I held it down for him, me, his fam & friends went to visit him. I admit now I was stupid for almost 3 yrs. I know he loved me but eventually I know he wasn't ready to settle down. that's all I wanted outta him was honesty & loyalty but he couldn't give me that. I just know deep down inside I still love you RONNIE, but I will never take you back after all the shit you put me through. im 19 met you when I was 16 ill never forget the day I met you & ill never forget the day I let you go...

NOW, six months later ... im still single, a lil bitter, & lonely. all I want is a genuine man to call on when im feelin down, to just have crazy fun together. have random dinners or lunch together. goin bowling, shopping together, to the movies. etc. all those cute things I see other couples doin that I've never experienced. But six months later ... my heart is made of stone & every dude that comes my way I turn him away...I've set my standards higher just so I won't be hurt again. i know for sure i am stronger mentally. just not ready to be in a relationship & if that right guy comes along...i hope i dont let him pass by, if he hasnt already.& at the rate im goin I think ill be single for the rest of my life.





for some reason I still have these crazy pics of us ... well him. there were more but i love the ones of him off guard. maybe i should delete em but idk if im ready for that step just yet.
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