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LONELY & BITTER.


Im just venting.
I told a certain someone I cared abt him (jose) & I wanted there to be an me & him ... an us. This is nowhere near my character ... I just felt the need to do so because I feel so comfortable with him. & I been liking him BUT I've always been stuck on ronnie. well boy oh boy wasn't I foolish. I told him I was thinkin abt him & he says what were you thinkin? I tell him somethin I know wouldn't happen but I didn't wanna tell him ... & he keeps askin. sooo I tell him & I tell him I can't believe I told him I wanted to be with him. & he says "its ok baby girl" that's it? what abt a yea I wanna be with you too, or I think we should just be friends or somethin! I reply back with "yea..." & no response. maybe I didn't say enough or maybe I said too much. I just felt that since we had been so cool for almost a yr...I could tell him & we can discuss it like we discuss like we discuss everything else. I guess I should've kept my mouth shut bc he does have a girlfriend. Damn im so stupid! Wtf was I thinkin?? Im not the type to step on anyways toes. But he always comes to me when there havin problems he tells me ... he wants to be w/ me he wish he could be with me. That's why I felt the need to tell him I feel the same. Boy was I stupid! & I feel stupid.
Idk im just tired of seeing happy couples everywhere I look. I wanna be in that position. I know I could be a good girlfriend if someone would let me. & there's this other guy. I won't say his name bc no one knows I like him but me lol. But anywho I tried to send signals that I liked him but it didn't work. I just don't like comin onto a guy too strong bc one I don't wanna seem like im all up in his face & two bc Im afraid of rejection.
I just fckin despise ronnie! Why couldn't he love me like I know he could & like I wanted him too. I wouldn't be feeling so lonely & so bitter towards dudes. everytime I guy tries to talk to me I shut him down QUICK w/ no hesistation. Im lookin for somethin but idk what it is....im just tired of feeling this way. Tired of ppl tellin abt there happy love expierences UGH. & everything that I do, I do to keep my mind off how Im feelin inside. I guess I am just bitter & LONELY.

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Chan Chan said…
Girl i have a few opinions about this blog and im jus gonna tell yu what i kno from experience.
1st off, please dnt feel stupid for tellin him how yu felt, caus ethere's nothin wrong wit lettin a person kno. 2nd...yu should jus leave things how they are wit yall, a friendship, especially if he has a girlfriend, caus eno matter how much a guy "say" he like yu, 90% of the time boys wont break up with they're girlfriend, for a girl who is behind there girlfriends place. so jus keep things simple with him, & continue to be there and be his friend. 3RD! & please trust me on this 1! Being single is sooo much easier. Being in a relationship is cool at 1st but if its not wit the rite person things can go really sour. there should be abousolutly no rush for relationship. its easier to be single tlk to different guys, and its alot funner trust me. I thot i wanted love, but im alot happier now that im single. Gosh i kno this is a long comment, but i really jus wanted to let yu kno wat i kno. At the end og the day yur gonna do wat yu wanna do, but jus take heed to wat im telling yu. I have so many friends who have been through bad relationships and now there single and life is loookin alot brighter, so i hope i helped!
March 1, 2009 at 10:56 PM
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