The MAKINGS of ME.

w/ relationships... my feelings have been crushed too much. & ppl wonder why im so rough & tough. imma forever keep my guard up. you think this new person in your life is interested but its ALWAYS something. honestly dudes in my age range are in the phases of "fcking everything" or purely jst are jst a bunch of dumb fcks who dnt know what they want & i DNT have time for that... its been stepped on TOO many times to count, so its about time for me to throw it out...

i admit it. i AM KINDA bitter. but if you were me you would be too, im honestly tryna move on from being w/ my first love of 4 yrs. i wont get into depth on it but if you know me you know the situation. a quick summary consists of me being in a mental, verbal, & physical abusive relationship, being cheated on all the time, my ex even got another chick knocked up! ha. smh. & yea i still have feelings for him, ive rejected his invitations to come visit him. i just dont wanna go down that road anymore, its unhealthy for me. im working on NOT being bitter its just another "trial & error" thing. BUT, in the back of my mind i still cant trust these dudes. ive been burned TOO MUCH. but i really wish people wouldnt hold that against me & take what i have been through in consideration. im trying my HARDEST to move on & not judge the next guy like hes my ex, its hella hard. my guards are up hella high, but i think i met someone who is on my level so who knows ... i ...